I have been thinking things are going along pretty smooth with Mom recently. She seems to be having her pain managed well. She has not been "needy" and want lots of stuff brought to her or done for her. Has been asking the aids or doing it herself.
But this evening she decides to want to be informed on things she has skipped before. Ask how much her rent there was. Told her more that she would like. She ask about the girls that clean her room and wanted to know who paid for that.
She wants to think things are free, not costing her anything or she might as well be at home since she owns it. Even though she cannot get herself, meals or do much for herself. She has the deluded idea that she does everything for herself and needs no help.
And there is no use trying to change her mind. If you start asking about the things she does not have to do herself, she still thinks she could if she had to.
Mostly it is a subject just best skirted around,,,talk about the weather , the meals , just anything but reality.
But every once in awhile she has momemts of clarity where her one and only love her money comes to mind. She wants to know how it is doing how fast it is going, and if it is growing. Well what can I do but lie like an ass or divert her. Her money has been gone for many months and she is on STate Aid. Am trying to sell the house and then she can pay with what comes from it til it runs out.
She was ranting today because she bought and paid for a house and is out there paying rent. And I am sure in her mind her CD s are still sitting there too.
I am trying my best to allow her to live out the rest of her life without knowing she is broke. But she get so hateful and mean about me making her stay there, and she pushes my buttons.
I had to get out of there today because I was this close to just laying her finances out there and letting the chips fall. Letting her soak in the situation she has let herself get into by not listening to me years ago.
I walked away. She would just get more mean and hateful and blame me for using her money to keep her there to be taken care of.
She has used her money all her life to snag future favors. Gives someone something or some money,writes it down, and then waits til there is something she wants them to do for her.
I quickly learned not to take anything with strings, andmade very sure it was a gift and not a snare. She did not like this, but not much she could do about it.
Am staying away for a few days, and maybe her mind will move to something else.
Since her money was most important to her, and her security, maybe we can keep chugging along without her knowing it is gone.
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