LIFE STINKS.

House has been for sale since January.  Auction date set, and today auctioneer came to list stuff selling.  April 21st will be slow coming and then upon me all at once.  I have been packing stuff.  Going through someone else's life possessions is disturbing. 

This is something I have dreaded, am still anxious about, but it has to be done.  Am hoping the anxiety subsides after the sale, at least some, and then completely after the house sells.

HIGH ANXIETY

My Mom had been having some not so bad days.  But yesterday, she was coughing and having some difficulty breathing.  This evening when I went out, it seem worse, breathing was very labored.  Ask them to check SATS with oxygen on and it was 85. Generally it will drop into 80,s if she takes it off and forgets to put back on, but comes back up with it on.

They made a call to Hospice to see if the dr. wanted to raise oxygen, which is already on 3.  They decided to give her some meds, one was to calm her down, do not know what the other did.  She was getting anxious about not breathing good and it was making it worse.

It seemed to help. Took her down to supper, and she felt better and actually ate more than usual. The SATS are still in the 80 s but she was not reacting like she was when I got there.

She has gotten bad and bounced back so many times, that I tend to relax. A year ago, her doctor said she only had about 6 months to live in her condition. She beat that by a lot. But I know that at some point there will be no bouncing back.

Beginning of a Crazy Month Coming

Tomorrow we meet with the Auctioneer Company to set up the sale of my Mom's stuff.  We worked for 2 weeks packing up enough stuff to pare things down for the house to be shown.  There is that much and more that we will have yet to pack up in the next month.

Then the moving of the furniture and stuff on sale day.  I love to go to auctions.  But never paid attention to the work that went into getting it ready and set up.

I also still have a lot of stuff she already had packed away, that I need to go through to see what it is.

I want to get this done and over, but am dreading it.

At least after tomorrow I will know the date I have to be ready for. 

And the trip to Vegas that comes before the sale will be a reward for having everything ready before I go.l

DAYS OF FRUSTRATION AND ANGER

Since Mom fell out of her chair and they took it away over a week ago, she is very angry. Has to put her call light on for assisantance to bathroom, bed, and meals.  She is giving them hell too. She does not like to wait, and keeps telling the aids and nurses that they do not want to do things for her, that they think she calls to often. And well they may think she calls to often, but they have to answer.  And I do not doubt they are slow to do so at times.

Hospice tried to get her a more comfortable chair that would be safer for her.  They brought 2, and she hated them. I took her old one back,  and they got her a new cushion for it.  Now it it thicker than her old one, so her feet are not touching the floor like she wants.  Hopefully that will be taken care of tomorrow by lowering her chair.

I am not sure yet that she realizes when they get the chair to suit her, that she will not be free to sit in it unattended.  She falls asleep easily and bends forward, and will fall again.

Last week, I was hoping for a better week.  Will not even go there now, as I seriously doubt if there will be a better week.

FEBRUARY GOES ON.........

Not been a good week.  Mom was sitting on the bed and toppled off early Tuesday morning. Bruised up.  Friday night about 11:00 pm she toppled out of her wheel chair. More bruises.  They took her wheel chair away so she has to call for assistance until they can get one that she cannot lean forward and fall out of.  She has been very lucky not to have broken any bones. 

Do not know what is keeping her going.  She is so weak, and pretty confused most of the time.

New week begins, hoping for things to go better.

TIME IS RUNNING FORWARD

Have let quite a bit of time go by again and neglected blogging.  We are now into the second month of the new year. Strange weather, many days of 50's and 60's. Things are about to change per weather cast. But has been nice.

I still go to the nursing home every day at least once. Mom is failing and getting weaker but still hanging in there. She has now been in there over a year, entered January 2011. Have put her house up for sale, will probably take quite sometime to sell due to the housing market.  Plan to have an auction in April.

I do not like winter, so will just be passing the time til Spring comes.  My life seems pretty flat right now anyhow.

Til next time I think I need to blog....................

BEGINNING OF THE END OF ANOTHER YEAR

Thanksgiving has come and gone and now will be getting ready for Christmas. I like this time of the year, but with it also comes the thoughts of the long cold winter.  We have had some nice weather but it appears about to end.  Thanksgiving day was a beautiful day.  I do not like winter.  The first real snow is an event, but it is pretty much down hill from January to spring.  Two of my favorite things, auctions and garage sales are pretty much put on hold from now til April.

We had a great Thanksgiving Dinner at my daughters with part of the family. I ate all I wanted, and yet did not gain back a pound of the 9 I have lost.  Now I just have to get through Christmas.  But am determined to pace myself to I can enjoy it, but not have any regrets afterwards.

Since I last wrote on this blog, I lost another cousin who had been ill for quite sometime.  And my Mom is now having more bad days than good.  She is tough though, one day she will be in bed, and then back to where she can go down to the dining room at the nursing home.  They have really taken good care of her.  Of course they know I am going to be in and out at least once a day if not more, and sad to say but I do think that makes a difference in most nursing homes.

Got my tree put up today. Have one gift to wrap and another on the way.  They are for an early dinner I have with a club I belong to, so I cannot pat myself on the back for early shopping.

Thanksgiving day with 2 of my daughters and a granddaughter.

Christmas tree 2011.  Hope to have some presents under it in a week or so.