OCTOBER 2012

Went back and looked at my blogs since I started, and I was having fun with them. The world seemed a brighter place. I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and looming in on how life sucks and just make better things happen.  I did nnot realize i had become as much a Debbie Downer and I am. WTH....

FALL IS HERE

It is October already. Summer came and went.

Between a few good moments, mostly life sucks.

AUGUST?

Have not been on here for over a month but nothing to write about.  Life is same old same old.

When an EBay sale is the highlight of your day, week, month, you need to get a life.

LIFE MOVES ON....SLOWLY

Sale went off April.  Not too good crowd, not too good sale.  But at least it is over.  Now just waiting on the house to sell. 

Mom is still plugging along.  Having some very bad days, and some not so bad.  It is like a roller coaster, I never know when I go out if she is going to be in severe pain, dazed and confused, or able to communicate even if somewhat confused.

Her money is all gone now, so am waiting to hear if app for State Nursing Aid is approved.  This will pay until the house sales if goes through.  She is clueless as to her finances. Wants to think she still has what she had a year and a half ago. 

"Life is simple, it's just not easy. ~Author Unknown

TIME MARCHES ON.....AND LIFE STILL STINKS

Four months since last blog...not much has changed. Mom is still in nursing home.  She has had some better days, still has lots of pain and is confused a lot.  I am running down.  Been going out for an hour or so every day, then I sort of hit the wall.  Felt like I could not make another trip out there.  It is just one battle after another getting them so change sheets, give her meds, and other stuff.  One day she went all day til I got there without her call light.  It was hooked to her pillow neatly made up in the bed.  Geeze.  There is one nurse I would like to slam my fist down in front of and tell her to get her head out of here ass.  She passes meds, and she never remembers when the aids tell her Mom needs pain meds.  She will be off here and yonder doing stuff, then back sitting on her ass like her work is all done.

Well I have sort of cut back some.  I take a day off of going out here and there.  She does not even realize I have not been there.  But it sort of cuts down on my frustration of the place.

Oh well, like goes on.  I may come back and look at this in a month or so and be amazed I was so angry..............or I may still be pissed at something.

Ca sa ra sa ra!

LIFE STINKS.

House has been for sale since January.  Auction date set, and today auctioneer came to list stuff selling.  April 21st will be slow coming and then upon me all at once.  I have been packing stuff.  Going through someone else's life possessions is disturbing. 

This is something I have dreaded, am still anxious about, but it has to be done.  Am hoping the anxiety subsides after the sale, at least some, and then completely after the house sells.

HIGH ANXIETY

My Mom had been having some not so bad days.  But yesterday, she was coughing and having some difficulty breathing.  This evening when I went out, it seem worse, breathing was very labored.  Ask them to check SATS with oxygen on and it was 85. Generally it will drop into 80,s if she takes it off and forgets to put back on, but comes back up with it on.

They made a call to Hospice to see if the dr. wanted to raise oxygen, which is already on 3.  They decided to give her some meds, one was to calm her down, do not know what the other did.  She was getting anxious about not breathing good and it was making it worse.

It seemed to help. Took her down to supper, and she felt better and actually ate more than usual. The SATS are still in the 80 s but she was not reacting like she was when I got there.

She has gotten bad and bounced back so many times, that I tend to relax. A year ago, her doctor said she only had about 6 months to live in her condition. She beat that by a lot. But I know that at some point there will be no bouncing back.